“Contentment (santosha). Cultivate contentment and tranquility by finding happiness with what you have and who you are. Seek happiness in the moment, take responsibility for where you are, and choose to grow from there.”

So my first blog post was going to be about so many things – how I started on my yoga journey (and arrived on the mat), taking time out of each day to be mindful, the lessons my clients teach me, the art of slow and the Cloud Appreciation Society. But all these will have to wait for future posts because the first subject arrived without warning, and brought some humility to the proceedings.

As part of the need to set up a website I was advised to get some professional photos taken – you know, decent light, getting your ‘good side’, trying to capture a few shots without a prominent double chin….. that sort of thing. And so arrived Lee, highly recommended and with an eye-watering array of photographic equipment, who set up studio in my kitchen and proceeded to try and capture what many others for years had failed to do – one decent shot with my eyes OPEN.

I’m sure lots of people out there absolutely love the idea of posing for photos, and there many ‘perfect people’ shouting about their yoga practice with snaps of the perfect pose in great leisure wear and in extreme/exotic locations.

However, this was an agonising experience for me, and the sheer bloody effort poor Lee had to go through to wipe the rictus grin off my face was painful to behold. Fast forward 3 hours later and Lee packed up and went home, promising to get the shortlist of shots to me by the weekend.

Long story short, the pictures came back and Lee had clearly done his professional best with a dodgy subject matter but my anxious anticipation at first view of the photos turned quickly to disappointment. Who was this self-styled yoga imposter with a tilting tree pose, a wobbly warrior and a floppy forward fold? I sat and analysed each and every photo and picked faults with everything, from the shape of my arms to the wrinkles on my t-shirt, from the poses to the pose-y-ness of it all. My chin, my hair, my clothes, my body shape – who do I think I am looking like this and trying to teach other people how to practice yoga?

Much disgruntled mumbling and hand-wringing later, and after a few choice and humbling words from my husband, I went away and reflected. My response had been an entirely human one, but it served no purpose other than to feel bad about myself. I needed to draw on ‘santosha’ and the art of cultivating acceptance and contentment. In Patanjalis Yoga Sutras, we are taught about the second niyama, Santosha, and how if we can’t cultivate acceptance about our lives then we can never expect to attain happiness. My frustrations about my image and how it appears to the outside world had instantly led to my unhappiness.

You know, I’m always banging on about this stuff in my yoga classes (whether my students listen or not). I really believe and draw on this kind of thing when I need it the most. It’s what took me from just being interested in the physical aspects and benefits of a yoga practice into being the yogi I try to be each day, through thoughts, words, actions. Its not easy, certainly not when faced with the realities of modern life. But a bit of self-reflection is always worthwhile and this proved a valuable lesson. I realise that people don’t come to my yoga classes to see the perfect pose, the perfect body, or an inflated ego. I hope they come because I try to connect them to yoga in a language and a style of teaching that appeals to them, which is not about self-pride or perfection, but is about finding space, feeling good, cultivating happiness, community and a sense of self-worth, and most importantly, acceptance. In a busy and often crazy world, yoga allows a moment of calm to breathe, reflect, accept and move on.

So to hell with the airbrushed photo of the perfect dancers pose on a beach in Bali. That’s not yoga, that’s just acrobatics in a bikini.

To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself. ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Namaste

Rachael